READ ME!!!

[kat5654]

PLEASE COMMENT! (And sorry about the spelling + gramatical errors)

INTRODUCTION
To dislike funerals is a common feeling amongst proper English society; but Miss. Roselyn Horn really hated them. Not only was it her fist funeral it was also the funeral of an aunt who hated the very air she breathed. Funerals were a waste. A waste of recourses, a waste of money, a waste of time! She knew it was terrible to think these things but Jesus Christ on a crumpet; she was sitting out here in this disgustingly hot weather surrounded by relatives who didn’t even know she existed, all for an aunt who hated her. Unbelievable.
As she looked around her gaze settled on her uncle and four male cousins. They were all she had known for as long as she could remember. Her uncle had a glazed look that most people would have misunderstood for a morning widower but was most likely just an unimaginably bad hangover. While her aunt had been alive her uncle had ignored his wife; every once in a while he would remember his duty and sire another heir. After the twins her aunt had never been the same. When Rose had talked to the house keeper, Mrs. Hunt during one of their chats, she said that giving birth to the twins had taken the life out of Lady Parker and she had never really been the same since the birth.
Her eldest cousin Robbie, or Robert named after his father had a stern, guarded look on his face as always. Her death had hit him the hardest; he was the only one who remembered what she was really like. Markus, her least favorite of the four held no expression usually he held a look of disgust on his face of course when she saw this look his gaze rested up0one her. Markus had always hated her, she didn’t dwell too much on this fact, she was actually rather grateful; if he liked her then she might have to converse with him. Alexander and Stanton; the twins, wore a sad look. She knew that deep down they had always felt some sort of guilt for their mother’s frail health, and now that she was gone it made that all the more real.
Seeing all of them lined up was indeed a sight to behold. All had a resemblance with their dark brown hair and clear blue eyes, but that’s where the resemblance ended. Robbie was the most handsome of the four. He had a wide shoulders and height that demanded attention. Markus even though she loathed admitting it, was quite handsome as well. This she reasoned was the issue that made Markus have such a dreadful personality. He was so vain it was disgusting. Personally she felt he spent too much staring in the mirror then any where else. Alexander and Stanton a year her senior, at the age of nineteen were late bloomers and still growing into there masculine features as well as there maturity.
Reality was brought back to her when Francesca or Aunt Francesca pinched her arm.
“My, my… starring at Robbie’s adorable little friend?”
“What?!” She whispered back harshly. “Who?”
“Darling, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed Lord Blake, Robbie’s friend.” Francesca breathed back.
She move her head slightly back towards her cousins in search for “Robbie’s adorable little friend”. And to put it simply, she found him.

[Juliette26]

Hi! I think that was a cute start.

Grammar could be worked on, but since this is a WIP, I'll forgive you - lol. But it would be really helpful to double space your paragraphs.

It was a little bit short for me to really give an accurate review - but I'd say keep going!

Nice work!

[Louise]

I like the astrigent tone you set.

Just a picky point: is her uncle a "morning" widower as a opposed to the "evening" kind? My fingers stutter, too, but it tickled my funny bone!

_________________
Louise

[dcchung86]

I tried to read this, I really did, but I can't get past the syntactical, grammatical, and spelling errors.

[DaniR]

I think this was a really good start! Sure, there are some spelling/grammar mistakes, but who doesn't have those? That's what peer review and editors are for! I hope we get to read more so that I can find out about the mysterious Lord Blake. I have to echo Louise's comment: I like the tone. It has a bit of bite to it, which is entertaining to read.